I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
