i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
