Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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