Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
