Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
