My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
A bitchslap is in order.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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