I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Mom said you looked used
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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