you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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