Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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