ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
