people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
