When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
