Can Purell be used as lube?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
