Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
