I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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