Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
