I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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