she was so not down for the gang bang
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
