Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
