that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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