Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
