Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
