escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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