I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
