does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
