my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
