He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
