We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
