which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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