I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
