i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
PANTIES FOUND
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