I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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