I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
