a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
