You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize