Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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