Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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