I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
