why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
