Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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