That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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