i already hear my dad disowning me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
