I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i drank out of a bidet.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
