Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
