strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My vagina is officially offended.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
