just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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