is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
