it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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