3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
