fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
