none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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