i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
