Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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