I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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