my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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