I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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