I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
